What's the deal with judging whether you're 'strong' enough or not? We are emotional beings. If we were not, we would be robots. Every human being on earth has emotions - many people have suppressed or repressed theirs and so they come across as 'strong'. Is that what we want - a lot of 'strong' people who don't show their human side, their vulnerable side, their sensitive side? Not me. So, hopefully you're not 'way too strong of a person for that."

Missing an appointment is HUGE. When you thought about it being in your control, when you thought YOU had a choice whether to attend the session or not, that is quite a different thing than it being yanked away from you. Sure, you forgot, but it's the same thing as you being denied what you need.

I have grieved and suffered a lot when my T has to cancel because she's sick. I no longer beat myself up about those emotions. I allow myself to feel the sadness and the attachment. I am no longer ashamed of them. T knows I feel this way.

And I think by accepting those feelings, they have lessened a bit. Lately my reaction to having a longer separation from T is not as severe. I think it goes to that whole attachment theory. Feeling more and more secure with T allows me to express my feelings completely and also to tolerate her absence more.

Squiggle - just know this - you ARE strong. You keep on showing up to session even when you know it will be painful. And, also know this - many of us feel the same way when we miss session.

Lots of hugs coming your way... (((((((((hugs)))))))))