Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbie b65
I'm at a point in my life where I need to accept, forgive and move on with a marital issue. The problem is, I have never been able to forgive people that hurt me. This is serious and the success of my marriage is on the line. 
When important people in my life: family members, friends, boyfriends, etc., hurt me with things they said or did, I would try to look past it and move on but I never really could. Over time, for my self preservation, I would block these people from my life. Even when I forgave them and tried to move on, it was never the same after that.
Once someone becomes untrustworthy or hurts me I'm finished with them. I know it's not normal because no one's perfect and we all make mistakes and should be forgive, but I just don't know how...I need help. 
Thanks for reading,
bobbie b65 |
If it's any consolation at all Bobbie - I don't think it's not normal (hate double negatives but I'd have to think too hard to fix it). I think over the course of time feelings (trust/love etc) erode the more you're hurt by people. It's ok for awhile but when it happens over and over it's difficult not to be affected by it. Rose's observation and experience with therapy is a good one - I should have focused more on the topic when I had the opportunity. I do forgive people but I don't seem to be able to ever recapture the strength of the original feelings.
I think you should forgive yourself first and then worry about forgiving the others.