I think that if someone said to me, "I respect you", I wouldn't believe them. Because I don't think that respect is something that needs to be said, as respect (and disrespect) are communicated indirectly, like in nonverbals in discussion. Someone can say something like, "Okay, whatever you want" in a way that is respectful, and then they can say it in a completely demeaning tone with an eyeroll attached.

With trust, it depends on why someone might have lost the trust of their spouse. If it's because they cheated on them, that's one thing. If it's because of something else that has more to do with a disagreement in values, that's something else all together. A lot of times people use "I don't trust you" as a way to get the other person to do what they want. You have to do this, because I don't trust you. Not so good in my book.

I'm sure I haven't been married as long as many of the people here, but in my 20 years in this relationship I know that love isn't enough. Even being in love isn't enough. There has to be respect, there has to be trust, and for me there has to be autonomy (which really depend on trust and respect I think).