Quote:
Originally Posted by littleme420
I love nature but I can't run while I am at work and that is where most of my triggers are, I stay dissociated the whole time I am there and that's usually 5 hours. One of my triggers is attention I hate when people look at me and another is strange guys I don't know I work in retail as a cashier at a store so this is a hard one. My psy told me I should quit but I can't afford to and my managers and co-workers have been great, I couldn't ask for a a better work place, it's some of the customers that make it hell. I am going to look over the grounding techniques on that board you posted.
Am I correct in reading that grounding techniques wont actually stop you from dissociating? They just make it easier to switch? When I am dissociating I kind of know what I am doing I guess just kind of going through the motions but I'm not there mentally. I have had a few customers complain that I "Disappear" because when I dissociate you can see it on my face, A cross between emotionless to very, very sad looking, it looks like I am in a trance, My voice becomes very very quiet and I mumble, like when I was a child.
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that depends on your term "dissociating" there are many different ways people look and think about the word dissociating.
here where I live and work we think of that word like you would multi layered cake. the frosting layer is what we would call normal dissociation.. the kind of dissociation that every one does every day, the next layer is dissociation but a bit deeper where you start feeling spacy, numb....this layer is depersonalization disorder.... the layers continue on down through all the dissociative disorders.... with the deepest dissociation at the bottom which is DID.
DID is the kind of mental disorder where you have no control over what the alters can and cant do, you cant even control whether they come out or not. What determines their taking over the body varies from person to person depending upon their trauma, their triggers and lots of other things. their taking over control also is determined by what the alters job/purpose/reason for being is.
example I had alters that took care of my finances for me because I could not handle banking, shopping, paying the bills... anything to do with numbers I was unable to do and handle. I lacked the mathematical education.
So come time for bill paying and all the other financial stuff I would get frustrated, anxious, panicky until I started feeling numb spacy blurry eyed...all my dissociative symptoms, then the alter who's job/purpose/reason for being was taking care of the finances took over control and got things done.
After I started therapy and learned grounding I would take my boat around the lake, it worked wonders for my anxiety, spaciness, numbness ...all my dissociative symptoms...but boating around the lake wasnt fixing the problem of my inability to handle finances.
I could ground and ground and ground and ...but the finance problems weren't getting done, so the alters that took care of my finances sooner or later would take over control and get things done because that was their job/purpose/reason for being.
what finally made it so that my alters would not take over control was integrating with me. After integration I had their memories, knowledge of mathematical/finance stuff. After integration I was able to pay my bills, go shopping and go to the bank...
thats what I mean about grounding can make things easier for you..
it doesnt prevent the alters from taking over control, they are there for a reason and have their job/purpose to do. nothing is going to take away that. but grounding can calm you and help you to refocus your awareness back out of your head and into the present when you are feeling dissociation symptoms.
you have to do the work first by being able to take notice of your dissociation (and by your post I see you can already notice your dissociation symptoms, keep up the good work.) and then use the grounding...
Another way I explain using grounding is its like a smoke alarm. the smoke alarm sits on the wall doing nothing until ***After*** there is smoke in the room. then it works by making an annoying sound ...
the same with the switching.. it doesnt make switching into alters easier. it calms you, brings you back to the present, brings you out of feeling panic, anxiety, numbness, spaciness...