I have a male friend who I've known for just under 2 years. I actually learned of PC from him, so posting this is difficult, knowing we're both members. Things have gotten extremely complicated the last couple months, and I no longer know how to express myself, or even feel comfortable contacting him like before.

To make things clear, we've been friends, hung out together, and sometimes went to concerts or for walks. Things to get each other out of the house. We'd never discussed dating. I'd honestly wondered about it, but was happy having a good friend. I did have another friend ask if we were an item, and I found out later that his son had asked if we were dating.

The issue came up when I went along to his kid's concert, since he didn't want to go alone to the event. Next day his ex was texting me in the early morning from his kids' cell. (I'd okayed for them to have my number for emergencies). I'd been around his kids many times, neither of us thought anything of it. After the ex saw us together, it basically forced us to look more closely at our relationship. She wanted to meet me, which I had no problem with, and can understand having a child and being divorced as well. However, it seemed to become either too much of a hassle to plan for her, or he didn't think she deserved it. It never came around. But there is the statement out "no contact with my children".

So we did have several talks, and agreed that we did at sometime pass over the just friends line, but weren't sure when. Neither are ready for a serious relationship, since were both working on recovery and stuff. We talked about taking it the way we were, just letting it go the way it was and take it slow. I think it's a good idea, yet it's not the same anymore. He's asked that I not be around the kids now. (I don't know if he's doing it to keep his ex from raising any more crap, or if he's concerned about me around them now) So the spontaneous stop by just to say hi is done. It's also got me feeling like calling isn't appropriate anymore, even though I've expressed that concern and he says it's not something to worry about. I guess I just feel like his ex has the final say in it all now. That the friendship won't ever be the same, due to us discussing our feelings, and now the "limitations". I just feel I shouldn't be "told" by someone else when I can see a friend.

Another part, is that he's been one of my main supports, and I'm afraid to contact him anymore. Wednesday at my training/job, I had to leave early for the 2nd day in a row. I managed to drive myself home on Tuesday, but it wasn't possible Wednesday. (I have epilepsy and it's been acting up this week). I kept thinking of calling him to ask for a ride home... I couldn't bring myself to. He had his kids, could be working on a paper, might get his ex mad etc. And eventually had to have a coworker take me to the ER cause I waited too long.

I don't know what to do.. My pdoc knows the situation, and it's almost like he's trying to play a relationship therapist He gave me a quiz to fill out, then out of the blue tells me to compare the answers with my friend, that he's already given him the assignment. I ended my marriage because of the abuse and controlling. And now it seems like the first time I let my guard down, it's back again, only in a different way.... What do I do?