I don't know if I actually fit in this forum, whether my music hallucinations were some kinda fluke or part of a psychosis-related illness.

But I feel overwhelmed. It's overwhelming just to think of what's overwhelming me, not even thinking about them, but only mentally listing them. If that makes sense. I'm tired from work tonight which feels more impossible every day as I wait to hear on my SSI application. What a relief it would be to get SSI... I'd be able to pay off my credit cards, fix my car, have enough income to maybe work less, and actually make my bills each month. But they'll probably deny me. State denied me... somehow I make too much... I can't imagine how anyone's supposed to qualify while maintaining rent... and stuff...

Anyway. Life sucks and I wish I could die. But that's just default mode for me.