Thread: Despair
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Old Jun 14, 2012, 11:06 PM
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whimsygirl whimsygirl is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: Willits, California
Posts: 1,071
Quote:
Originally Posted by regretful View Post
Depression is really a terrible illness. Our close friends avoid us because it might remind them of just how fragile they are too. I'm sorry your friend dumped you. I'm in a similar situation - a dear friend of mine suggested that I should go into business for myself; it is the same business he is in, and while it has worked out well for him, this business has only caused me misery. Now, when I need that friend for support, he avoids me like the plague. So, what you might be feeling is what I am - the double whammy of betrayal and abandonment.

Don't give up on finding the right therapist. Prior to starting my business, I was a practicing psychologist. I saw many people who just could not find the right clinician; by the same token, I know that I was not the right fit for everyone I saw in my office. It takes some determination. And if you get into a therapy appointment and it doesn't feel like a good fit right away, then don't go back. If you think our initial perceptions aren't that good, then I suggest you read the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell (I think that's the author's full name)...

I do wish you well in your fight with this illness. It's not an easy row to hoe. If therapy is cost prohibitive, then you might try pastoral counseling (if you are religious, or even if you are not, priests, rabbis, etc will listen empathically); and I agree with what others have said about getting out among people...the other thing that might dramatically improve the mood is to exercise. Even if it is just walking, there is a real benefit to exercise that has been demonstrated in many research studies to be an effective means of improving the mood.

Best wishes to you on your quest for feeling well again, and know that there is a clinical psychologist (me) who is fighting a similar battle with depression. You are not alone.
Thanks so much for your message. The sharing of your story and your compassion are very much appreciated. I am so sorry about what you have been ~are going through with your friend....it's such a mystery to me how people can treat others the way they sometimes do, and of course the fact that they can do it to people who they at one time cherished. So sad. I sometimes wonder what people think about while they are being so unkind....oh well but I'll never know. Otherwise, thanks for your advice and encouragement regarding therapy. Unfortunately, partly as a result of living where there is not a huge lot to choose from, I have in the past made the mistake of sticking with someone who just didn't "feel right", and personally I believe that just made me feel worse than ever....like I couldn't even get that right! I learned my lesson though, and will not repeat that. As you are ~were(?) a psychologist, it is interesting hearing about this from your point of view. Thanks again for the kindness and good wishes....and I wish the same for you. I hope we will talk again sometime.....