well i guess it was too much information and too overwhelming for anyone to comment. I feel like crap from not getting any responses from my so called friends and family so i come here hoping for some understanding and and support and i usually get it. I guess this time i have gone too deep and no one knows what to say. I have a bad habit of doing that and i have pushed many people away because of it. I guess even on here i have the same affect on people.