Hey you, I am not going to pretend to be the advise guru. Especially since I am feeling a lot of the things you are feeling & I am 52. (don't look it, but it is what it is. hehe) Anyway, I am a very social person & always have been. I am one of those people that you see in the store or in school or where ever and you feel immediately comfortable with and will make you smile even if you are determined not to. Now that can be an issue in itself but I don't want to go into all of that except to say a few things. Because, right now this is about you. But believe it or not, they do coral-ate. My daughter, now 26, is a very beautiful talented woman. She is one of those girls that you look at and say, wow I would do anything to meet her. Also, as a mom, I am thinking she is so much prettier and smarter and on & on than I was that she has got it made. Very far from the truth. And as a mom, let me tell you I was completely in-tuned with everything with my only daughter. Let me put it this way, if 2 people came up and told me a story about what she was or was not doing, I could listen to each one and with 99% accuracy could tell you which one that she actually did. Even being extremely intuitive It took me until around a year or so after she graduated to figure it out. She was not in the social crowd, she didn't have many friends, she was unhappy all the time, she never went to a prom or dance, on & on. She was great at finding all the misfits and was skipping everyday from the time she was a freshman. She is what I would call a cave dweller but then she would do things with out any fear of the consequences. Bottom line is, she hated HS with a passion, she was extremely shy and uncomfortable talking with people, she hated being judged and kids that she thought were pretending to be something that they weren't. (so actually she was judging them) But on the other hand, most of the other kids thought that she was stuck up and vain because she never talked or smiled & had this crappy look on her face. (them judging her) So, as a person who was always very social, in every activity from cheerleading, drill team and sports plus always having a friends and boyfriends, it was extremely hard to understand what was going on with the bad attitude and her completely anti-social behavior. There is no doubt that I made a lot of mistakes and said a lot of the wrong things to her growing up because I also judged my daughter based on my ideas of how I perceived things were suppose to be. She, like you, felt very isolated, wanted to have friends and very unhappy. She ended up finishing her senior year in an alternative school that was completely on-line. Now, she loved that & did it in half the time. To me, that would have been like a death sentence. But, i can completely understand your feeling comfortable with people you meet on line. And, maybe that is something you have to do for right now. But, don't let that be your life. In the environment that we live in, it is very important that we learn to interact with others because it's is extremely important that we can read and evaluate to the best of our abilities other peoples body language and facial expression in order to figure out whether they are trust worthy and honest etc. to know if we want to have them as friends or deal with them on personal oron business levels. Parents, believe it or not are just trying to wing it the same as you. They weren't born with the knowledge or is there a Dummies on How to Raise Children. I am pretty sure they love you, the same as you love them but don't necessarily like them either. One thing I never did was underestimate the powerful influence or the importance that HS has. It will be the basis of all your future relationships.

I, myself, is as long winded as you are. These are very hard years but try to hang in there. They are learning years in order for you to come into your own once you leave. I know it seems to go on & on but believe me one day you will wake up and all the sudden your 30 and you won't remember what happened for most of your HS years. You will have times that it is all good & then those times that are just crap. So be observant & learn your lessons! Unfortunately, it never ends. I have probably learned more of life's lessons in the last 4 years than I have my whole life. Ugh! And the only way you will be able to weather, is by your attitude and your positive outlook. there will be times your on top of the world & the next down in the gutter. But don't give up, (reminding myself too) You'll always have days of extreme happiness & days of total sadness. Hang in there & let me know if you want to talk at anytime. good luck

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer than you".