Mixed episodes have always been the most dangerous for me suicide-wise. The combination of depressive emotions and racing thoughts as well as excess energy is a ticking time-bomb. I am glad you are in contact with pdoc & T. That was something I was never able to manage. I was too afraid of being hospitalized to share. Or, perhaps, I didn't want anyone to make the choice of "to be or not to be" for me.

It's been a while, fortunately, since I've felt that way. When I have mixed symptoms these days, I pay attention to sleep making sure I do not go more than one night without sleep or more than 3 nights with less than 5 hours. I take sleeping meds at that point. I make myself exercise to burn off energy. I also spend time with my parents or anyone else that can stand my rapid, and often rather loud, speech.