I've had people think on some sites and doctors thinking I was a lowlife faker. I believe fakers to be honest will go down to hell as pathological liars. That is just my belief.

There was a site that was awful to me called "schizophrenia.com" and they were absolutely SURE that I was a faker, even though I am not. I do present somewhat differently than the norm, but my current psychologist has said that is normal for someone with autism (professionally diagnosed at 5 years young).

The only problem is that I say too much too soon. I use technical terms but that is the only way I know how to explain things and I have seen that on several of the boards I go to that they diagnose themselves and say their symptoms in medical terms, in fact more than me!( according to doctors they would be fakers I guess)

My main problem is schizophrenia but I do have some dissociative symptoms. That is a coping mechanism (my dissociative symptoms are, I don't know if its true for anyone else. I get so stressed and i dissociate, therefore escaping the stressful situation). I had trauma in the past. Some doctors think I have borderline and others don't. Saying your symptoms in medical terms is suspicious to doctors. A big red flag but I can't help it. I also have some of the rare symptoms of schizophrenia, not just the obvious delusions and hallucinations what everyone knows about schizophrenia. I also have olfactory hallucinations which is incredibly rare in schizophrenia. Another big red flag, as well as visual hallucinations. Actually my hallucinations affect everything but taste but not all at once. Sad to say I have been in the hospital for a week each year since it started up again. It looks like to outsiders that I just want attention because I go there so often. I go there when I am out of control, not for attention. The only thing I like about the hospital is that I meet new people. I LOVE talking to the patients no matter how bad I feel, it makes me feel better. The reason why talking to patients is good is that they are similar to me and I would understand them better and they would understand me better. They are the main kind of people I get along with the best. In fact all 3 of my friends are mentally ill. So of course that would be my favorite thing about the hospital.

I hate the pills though because its getting me fatter and fatter. I am so huge. The only times I go to the nurses in the mental hospital are the times that I feel so out of control that I am going to act on hurting myself. If I was a faker, I would act weird just to get their attention and do it all the time, taking away their time from other patients. After I moved and the problems started up again, I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder. After that is when I did extensive research on mental disorders. Then I was suddenly knowledgeable about mental health diagnoses. In fact I impress my current psychologist (she only understands because she is an expert on autism) but not anyone else because like I said before its a giant red flag. Other people think I am faking right away because of that medical knowledge. It sucks to not be believed. I struggled with that for years. There are more doctors who don't believe me than do believe me. Its only once they get to know me more that they know that I am not faking it. Its just when the first meet me that they think that.