So ... a few thoughts.

Yes, there are different kinds of respect, different meanings of the word, like with pride ... different types of respect a person wants in different situations or aspects of their lives, for various reasons.

I really want to have respect for my character, for my character and my spirituality intertwined I guess - not that I want people to think I am better than I am, or that I need to have praise/approval, or even so much that I want it in order to prop up self-esteem or self-worth, though I have had struggles in those areas, too. But I suppose I do want a sort of validation, perhaps - a validation that I haven't so miserably failed at living a life of spiritual worth, I guess, or that there are values/qualities people could see in me that they could respect, even if I feel like I've failed. That's a validation I find challenging to give to myself, because I look inside and think, why do I keep struggling with this, is there something wrong with my values, with my faith, etc?
I want to be able to be authentic, be authentically me, and be respected for holding to the values I do have. I think some of the issue lies in that certain ones in my life do have a disagreement with some of values, particularly my spiritual values - that my values are seen to be compromised, or too worldly, and not worthy of respect, because they aren't believed to be right. My change in convictions, my convictions, are not agreed with, not respected .... I don't expect agreement, or want others to compromise themselves to agree with me, but it is possible to acknowledge that differing values are worthy of respect, or that people with differing values are worthy of respect.

I recognize that there might indeed be ways in which I have disappointed people and valid reasons some or another might not respect me or not trust me, either. I really do understand and accept that. There are areas where I don't deserve respect, I know that. But that that should make it so that I don't deserve respect, or could not be respected (or trusted) overall, I don't think so.
I can't make anyone respect me ... I don't feel it's right to try, or to not be true to my values, convictions, or be less than authentic just so I'll have someone's 'respect'.
If there is something that should be done, something I should change in my behaviors/choices, to repair trust, I'm willing to do that, though .... I guess that may be a way of re-earning respect. Or respect that I could give more for someone's feelings about a particular issue .....

Yes, self-respect is important, and at the crux of it. Without self-respect (which I would think as a sense of self-worth, an ability to offer yourself both validation and a compassionate, but honest, assessment of yourself, and also understanding/making what choices that are truly in the best interests of your total well-being) how can you truly believe words or gestures of respect others offer; how can you believe you are worthy of it or accept that they really mean it?

I have more self-respect than I used to. Yet, I still suffer from doubt that I am worthy of much respect ... I have trouble telling if someone respects me, really knows me and still respects me and my character, just from non-verbal stuff. I sometimes misread non-verbal signs, or make negative interpretations that may not be accurate, and so I tend to want words to clarify whether or not I have perceived accurately or given the right interpretation to my perception. And just because someone does kind things for me, I don't assume that means they respect me .... I may think it is proof that they love me, that they care, want to sincerely help, etc, but not that they respect me. I want to hear the words, and I want to SEE how they say the words. And then I can read the non-verbal language too that accompanies the words .... and get a better sense of the shading of the truth.

And also, it is possible, I presume, to show respect even when you don't respect someone, their values, or their choices. But that would be done because of compassion, of charity, of love, perhaps. Or - possibly out of sense of righteousness/duty, too.

Ah well, thanks for humoring my convoluted ramblings ....

I wish I could call up T2 and ask her about this stuff ... or ask her if she respects me (ha), but I don't feel the liberty to do so and probably would get a T-type answer anyway ...