When you do get in touch with a counselor, take the time to put the ball back in your court. There are many well-meaning therapists who will go right for the jugular, so to speak, by digging deep into your traumatic experiences. I think that is a bad idea because it will only re-traumatize you. Let the therapist know only what you feel comfortable letting them know, then slowly develop a sense of trust with that person. These traumatic experiences that you wrote about have been with you for what sound like years, and the negative after effects have also been builiding for years. Do not jump right into revealing everything in the first session...you'll know that you have a good therapist when that person tells you to stop telling your story and reminds you to slow down.

As for medications, there are many MD's who are sympathetic to the cost factor, so see if the person you go to for treatment can offer you sample medication packs. And don't worry about depending on them forever; use them for the time that it is necessary; don't read anything about the side-effects other than the major ones that can really harm you.

Good luck with your recovery. I know from my experience as a clinician (not practicing now due to a major depressive episode so I cannot ethically see myself as providing quality treatment to anyone) that trauma victims do get better.