I'm finding this thread really interesting. Before I started therapy I used to almost vomit with cynicism at the expression 'inner child', and it took me a looong time to get comfortable with the idea of modes in schema therapy. But my experience has been the opposite of what VenusHalley and Scorpiosis are describing- I have found that locating the wishes and longing and frantic behaviours in the abandoned child part of me has freed me up to realise that it's *not* my whole self. In turn, this means that there is another part of me- the healthy adult- which can actually tend to those needs and soothe the abandoned child myself, rather than relying on other people to do it for me. It's certainly not an excuse for me to 'indulge' my childishness or act out; instead, I'm not overwhelmed by my childishness, and for the first time I can step up and take responsibility and take charge of myself.