Can you postpone the decision? I imagine that amidst the hormones and emotions of labor it is very hard to make a life-altering decision. What if you stay with the child for a while (which would be better for him or her anyway than being with dad because of breastfeeding that dad cannot provide and I am sure he does not have financial capabilities to buy from a milk bank) and then decide? Prolactin from breastfeeding just might induce attachment, and then you would want to keep the child. Or perhaps not - you will be making a level-headed decision. Or you may decide not to breastfeed but instead take your medications, and they will help you make a level-headed decision.