I read this, SpiritRunner. I don't know if I have anything useful to say, but I wanted to say these things:

1. My wife keeps her diary (something she has done since she was a girl) out in the open on her dresser. I would never, ever read it, no matter what "promise" she had broken or whatever suspicions I had. Nor would I ever read her email, or search through her internet history to see what she's browsing around for. If I want to know what she's up to, I actually ask. These things are a violation of privacy, even between spouses. To me that shows both a lack of trust and a lack of respect. I would hope that you would feel empowered enough in your marriage to tell him to stop. Who wants to live with an amateur police detective rummaging about your private stuff?

2. I don't understand why you had to "promise" that you would not get on PC when he was home. I don't see what right he has to make you promise that. This is a place of support and connection for you, and he doesn't get to stop you from engaging in what is helpful and nurturing to you. As I think I told you before, I understand the impulse to *ask* for my spouse's undivided attention, but I don't get to demand it. I don't get to force and enforce "promises" that essentially tell her what she can do and can't do.

I don't feel uncomfortable with your postings. I feel that you are pretty comfortable (meaning open) about your life. I admire the lack of judgment you have about your husband, i.e. refusing to label him as the jack@ss that I'm pretty sure most of us see him as. That shows a lot of acceptance towards him of his "quirks" and of how he treats you. I just hope your love and acceptance and lack of judgment is well-placed. I wish he could return even a bit of that to you. You deserve that.