I have severe OCD and recently its gotten to the level where once it's triggered I instantly get incredibly anxious and lose control of my head. Awhile ago, when this would happen I'd scratch my legs and upper-arm until they bled a bit... not really cutting deep, just scratching.... now I get so angry with myself that I've been bashing my hand into walls. The knuckles are so bruised and swollen and I can't bend two of my fingers very well... but every time it starts healing I find myself in a situation where I need to do it again. I have been super low lately... and I've found that I keep wanting to hurt myself... almost needing to. Right now I'm scared of cutting just because I don't want to get scars, that's why I'm just bruising myself. I tell myself hurting the inside of me is better because people can't notice as quickly and it won't change the way they look at me. But, I feel like if I had access to a sharp blade, I'd definitely do it though... and that scares me. I'm scared I'm gonna get worse. I really really really don't want to do it, but OCD takes complete control of my mind, what if this could to?