Quote:
Originally Posted by doggiedo
I'm in my mid-30s and divorced. I never had kids expecially becuase my ex didn't want that (which was a major reason for us getting divorced).
At any rate, I was recently poking around Facebook to loo at college friends and such. Most of the women my age have kids and these wonderful, big families. I feel like there is so much lacking in my life. All I wanted was to be a mother. I get reminded by my mother that I haven't given her grandkids yet...
It's just hard. It's almost a little too late, or so it seems. All my friends have kids and families and I am losing touch with them, too....since they now have these families and kids - their priorities are changing and I don't have anything in common with them.
How do I deal with this? I almost feel like this life-long goal of mine will never be.
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Doggiedo, I can so relate to this. You are in my heart. I know exactly what you mean when you say that you see FB friends with their new babies all the time. Same with me. I have also very very similar thoughts and feelings about the childlessness issue. I am probably thus not in the best position to answer your question on how to deal with it but I try.
Firstly, I think you have still hope. I know quite a few women in their mid- to late thirties who still got pregnant fairly easily and have healthy babies. It's not too late for you.
I wish I was in my mid-thirties still and had reason to hope... :-(
Also, the fact that you have actually had a (possibly long) relationship tells me that you are capable of having relationships (in contrast to me, as I have always avoided them subconsciously), which is a good basis for a child.
So, in your case, I certainly wouldn't give up hope and trying at this age!!! Especially if it is a dream of yours. I'd try and keep meeting people.
How do I deal with it? Well, because for me it's now only hoping that I can at some point afford to adopt a child, it's tricky. I try to find other 'things' in life that sustain me, as I need to face up to my reality. I try being out with friends - ideally not so much with friends who have lots of kids at the moment. I also try to enjoy other things that I like like exercising and reading. All of this can make me somehow feel better.
I also have a therapist and we talk about this. To me, it's like a loss - the loss of something I've never had.
I do wish you luck on your way and as I say, for you, it's too early to give up on your dream now!!!
Many hugs,
Shadow-world