SpiritRunner, I think that these are very deep thoughts about the nature of marriage/intimate relationships.

It seems to me that all intimate relationships have boundaries and respect for boundaries, even if that is not articulated. I have a friend who doesn't like her husband to eat off her plate when they go out, I'm happy to let my wife steal my food. I must have my own toothpaste-- silly in a way, as I will kiss her as often as she pleases-- but I don't want her to use my toothpaste. It's my boundary. She doesn't want me to share the bathroom while she's in there, while I know plenty of couples who will engage in all kinds of hygiene business in front of each other. I also don't share my email password and I don't let my kids use my computer. There are all sorts of "mine" in all relationships and all of these are boundaries in one way or the other.

When someone asserts a boundary ("this is mine" or "this is private"), it is a matter of respect and even perhaps decency to agree to that. Or disagree, and discuss a resolution. But I don't think it's an answer to just say "no we share everything." That is definitely entitlement and one partner/spouse doesn't get to do that at the expense of the other. This kind of intrusiveness actually kills the intimacy and connection in a relationship, IMO and IME.