"Even though all this happened five or six years ago, I today still have this unnatural fear of prisons and hospitals."

I'm going to respectfully disagree with your statement. And in more than one way.

Your fear is perfectly natural. What happened to you was psychological torture. Your vulnerability was extreme, and that was the whole point of the experience. By speaking as if to your brother, your step-father was laying down what virtually was a perfect tape recording in your brain. It was a deliberate act of torture. It was the ultimate disempowerment. A truly evil act.

Now, back to the first part of the statement. Your concern with time is also the result of psychological torture. The wounds you received are timeless wounds. At any point in your lifetime, your emotional state will be transported across time, to take you to that feeling of disempowerment, as it was laid down in your past. It's as if time bends back on itself, and touches two different times simultaneously.

You have done an amazingly huge part of the work of restoring your internal state to a healthy one, already. You already know, with clear recollection, what was said to you, and what was done to you.

I do not mean to suggest that this insight is easy. It is anything but easy. Somebody else made it hard for you, on purpose. And you can learn to take that back. You can learn to pull that torturous memory from your mind, just as you can tease a burr out of a sweater. It's a ***** of a job, but it can be done.

I do strongly support the other voices, that you print your message off. All you need do, then, is show it to a potential counsellor. They'll understand the situation, because you have made it so starkly clear already. I suggest you seek out specialized counselling, for PTSD arising from child abuse. There are specialized therapies for that. Interview counsellors for the position. Find one that can read your message, size up the situation, and give you an immediate sense that they can help you work the burr out of your emotional sweater. Trust your gut on that, and you're already doing it. Just like that, you're turning back the pendulum.

Just so you know, there is a trigger icon. It's that funny orange-red ball thing, with crossing lines on it. You also completely managed the trigger aspect with words. You did great. I'm just saying, there is an icon for it.

Take care,
Lar