don't know if this is the right place but i do get help in here so i thought i'd post it in here also. I know I haven't posted much and not in a long time but I really need to get this out and now sure where to post it. I understand if you don't want to reply because I haven't been actively participating so here it goes
So on Thursday the 14th of June, I get a call from my pdoc who is also my tdoc saying that she can't work with me any more. We have been working together for a little over 2 years now. The reason she can't work with me is because I don't follow thru with the suggestions that she gives me and that I break the promises I make to her. As for the suggestions I do follow thru at times I look into it but maybe I don't do anything about it but I try. Some of the things she has asked me to do is volunteering(which I have been readily seeking at this moment at two places so far), taking a class at a community college(i would like to do that but i can't deal with all the people so I'm stuck), and some other things that I can't remember. As with the breaking the promise which the promise is not to do something stupid like self harm or like taking pills. Yes I admit i did break those promises and I did try hard to stop mysef by using my coping skills sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. If it's at night a lot of times i'll try and go to sleep and that helps or read a book what ever. I do try my best to stop myself from doing these bad things but I can't always stop myself its not like I call or tell her when i have succeded at stopping myself. I have been doing this kind of stuff for almost 13yrs and it is very hard for me just to say oh i made a pact and i can't do it that just doesn't work. I have a severe mental illnesses. I not only have Bipolar but also schizoaffective disorder, borderline personality disorder, OCD, and Seperation anxiety disorder and social phobia. She has told me in the past that she can't work with me because i don't look into the suggestions that she has given me but at times I can't because my mental health is so bad that I can't think or function at times. Sorry for this being so long. I hope this in the right place if you think I need to post it somewhere else just say so and I will. thanks again for listening. so I have to make a decision whether to stay with her or not. it will be hard to leave but if it is going to be up in the air anyway what's the difference if i go now or later.