Dexter I agree with all that you are saying. But I am just scared. I keep telling him little things like he knows about my anxiety and my prn medicine and he knows i dont sleep well and he knows I am struggling with finding something....what not sure. But he doesnt know how far this has gotton.
And I think I am so scared cause I cant accept it myself. I cant. I dont know why its happening to me and why I cant fix it. So how can I expect anyone else to accept me. I also feel good when I am with him. Which I dont understand. My therapist says that its common to feel good when you are surrounded by supportive people or doing something that truely distracts you. And I guess he is one of my few distractions. There are times when I am with him that I get upset and I do show him some of it.....but he doesnt know I wake up crying every morning for no good reason. WHICH I HATE! And it so much easier to wake up in his arms.
I also dont want him to worry about me......he has to finish law school....and I know that I would want to know if he is but I am already hurting my dad so much cause I am so upset. I cant stand to do that to anyone else. I dont know.
I need to tell him but I dont want him to look or treat me any different.
just what I am thinking
Lmn
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