Quote:
Originally Posted by Sadness2011
I KNOW something is not right with me, but I feel so stuck in this darkness that I don't have the energy to make that call to the doctor for an appointment and fight back again. It pains me to even wake up every morning. I no longer look forward to going into the office every day. Instead I have to force myself to get up and get ready in the morning to go help other people when I can't even help myself. I literally stayed in my bed ALL DAY yesterday and slept for a good portion of it. I just want to be left alone. I HATE feeling this way and it's exhausting having to put on a fake "I'm Great" face when all I want to do is be alone with my darkness. It's getting worse as the weeks go by and I don't want to go back to that again, but I'm on my way back anyway and I don't know if I have the strength to fight AGAIN. I'm so tired of having to fight to feel okay with me. Vent over, thanks for listening.
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Hello. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this. It can be so difficult to deal with the world around us ~the "outside world" when we're dealing with the depression demons. I'm in the place lately where my crying is so spontaneous and uncontrollable that I hate to go out in public to do errands....but there are things that need to be done. Besides the fact that my eyes are always red and swollen, I feel like people I have to deal with can just see the "blankness" in me. I try not to go out into the world outside my home any more than necessary. I am not working at this time, and I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to have to deal with that. My heart goes out to you, and I hope that somehow, some way the darkness gives you a break sometime soon....
