I have many problems that I am forced to deal with alone. Although these problems in many cases deal with other people, I am the only one cognizant of them. My confusion is taking its toll and there appears to be only one way out. Examples of my many many problems include:
~~My mother is a very ignorant woman. Anything she isn't forced to learn, she refuses to. She never did anything in her life but produce four children, who are in many ways distorted psychologically. My oldest sibling has two children of their own and refuses to take care of them. The three of them live with us. The oldest does nothing but drinks and smokes and my mother still willingly supports the oldest and the children they have. My other older sibling is incarcerated and is still being supported financially by my mother. The incarcerated sibling is the typical brainwashed urban youth, who knows absolutely nothing about life. Although that doesn't stop them from picking at me and giving me "pointers" on how to live. And lastly my younger sibling (who is over the age of 16) is a spoiled and self centered narcissist, who see's me as the favorite and does whatever they can to pick on me. Going back to the oldest with two children, they place the rest of the family in compromising situations by doing things like drinking and crashing our vehicles and hanging around in front of our house with like minded people, who only fight and cause more trouble.

~Although, I recognize the game that the education system is I am still being shipped off to college because everyone around me just "knows" without a doubt that it is whats best for me. The things that interest me like philosophy and anthropology make little to no money at all, so if I did attend college it would be to spend my time studying topics I could care less about. Even though none of my siblings were well nourished intellectually my mother and grandparents feel we are ready to be entirely independent. Since they allowed my older two siblings to linger around and not do anything, as the next oldest I am being pushed harder than everyone to make "something" out of myself.

~I have been suffering from social anxiety disorder since middle school and while in high school I dealt with severe depression, suicidal thoughts, and based off of research have given myself a self diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and schizoid. Regardless of my being aware of my mental problems, my mother (who is my primary caretaker) does not believe in these things. She thinks that mental disorders are fake and that people act like they have "issues" as an excuse. After a few years of harboring feelings of suicide I had finally revealed to her my problem. All she did was call me weak and brushed it off.

***I have many more problems that stem from early childhood but those are just a few of the imminent ones.****