I used to want to be numb, because I didn't know how to handle my negative emotions, or any emotion really so I drank or used pills to "numb out" But that became my own personal hell, as I got sicker and sicker drinking. I'm slowly finding my way out of that hell and am in the process of rebuilding my life, almost from scratch. I've had a lot of therapy DBT has been most helpful, and several trips through rehab, and I now have just over 3 months sober. I now no longer have the desire for numbness, I prefer to experience my feelings even when they're bad because they help me know I'm alive. And through AA, I've met women I can call and talk to when I'm feeling bad, as well as learning to live life sober.

It's hard, but it is possible to break free of addiction, and it's the best thing you can do for yourself.

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