When I had a counselor who was a minister, things were in the open. Nothing was hidden. No tricks. I came to him with a manipulative mind, ready to pretty much blow him away, but he disarmed me quite fast showing he had NO mental weapons. No manipulation, no grudges, no twisting of words, no pride, no vengeance... nothing.

He was a honestly caring person who had some but not much training in counseling, he also gave from himself, he told me his own sadness and showed me his artwork, not to steal time from me, but to show he is also human.

Everything was honest between us. I kept coming back, even if 90 % of me doubted it was the right thing. He helped turn my life around and I never even thanked him as I moved away. I bet he wonders what happened to me.

There were no mysteries. Never left with a feeling I somehow been mentally violated without knowing what happened even (as other therapy did to me). I left with a clear head. A good head. I left "happier" than I walked in. Always. I left with new, good thoughts. I didn't leave with a feeling I needed to talk to somebody ELSE, because it upset me (as happened with "real" therapy, I always felt I needed therapy after the therapy......).

He helped many people. He was even better than my life skills psychologist, and she is good. She is not a therapist either. She didn't assume things about me, didn't cross her mind I could lie, deceive, be a troublemaker (on purpose). She always treated me like I was a decent person. Never provoked, lied or manipulated.

For me, it is important everything is crystal clear, as well as it can be said in words. To me it is important that if I'm being told something, it is on a conscious level. Straightforward without hidden agendas. That is what my mind wants.

I think there can be healing in less conscious things as well, like singing, playing an instrument, art, writing and so on. But for me, counseling is words. And I don't want words to lie and deceive and make me leave with a sense I was force fed headcheese under the pretense it was burgers.