Hey elle,

I think the best way to approach this is to set conditions. If he is making sincere progress and he is serious about working things out with you then he should not have a problem meeting certain reasonable expectations. Identify the the things that concern you about him and what you need for him to change for you to feel safe and willing to have him in your life again. Have a talk with him about what your expectations are and let him know that if he violates any of your conditions then it won't work out. You have to be strict about this part. He has to know that you really mean what you say.

If he does have psychological problems that are undiagnosed as of yet, well, he is seeing two counselors so it appears he is trying to get help in that regard. Remember to communicate with him and tell him you would like him to continue getting help from a professional because of his lack of empathy. If he has problems with alcohol or drugs, those issues need to be dealt with asap. None of his problems can be fixed if he has addictions clouding his judgement.

I think it's great you are trying to save your family and it can be done if he is willing to make changes and you let him know exactly what you expect. The big winners in all of this will be the kids if it works out. GL to you!