thank you Sojourn,
sounds like really good advice.

Thankfully he does not have any addictions.

I guess I just have to have a long think about what I do want. Its just hard to think some of my requests and needs wont be seen as asking to much.

just one example: he is a homaphobic, racist and I believe in treating everyone equally. I really dont want my kids to be as judgemental as he is.

I guess the biggest question I need to find my own answer for is can I ever truly trust him again. His actions have been so random, seemingly occuring out of the blue, that I worry I will forever be on edge.

I am so tired of thinking about this, I just keep going round in circles. I love him, but dont trust him (in the end i didnt trust him alone with my son). He abuses people emotionally so it is so much harder to police. He compromised my privacy by taking intimate photos without my knowledge or concent. He even attempted suicide infront of my 4 yr old. and yet he loves me so much, is the father of my child and was hoping to adopt my son. He is seeking help, but how long will it take to change?? if he ever does. I just wish he could see outside himself and understand what he does to other people.

blah!!!!

Sorry for the vent