This sounds really hard. One thing my T tells me is that people(me, her, others) are allowed to change/shift their boundaries if they need to, although I agree that you should be able to process your feelings with your T. My T does not email or text but I can relate in a different way. There used to be a time that I would give her copies of my journal entries and would put stuff in there so that she would read it before I would have to talk about it. It took a long time, but now I am able to bring everything directly to our sessions and that has been a true turning point for me. Dealing with boundaries, however, are still hard for me and I am sure that if I had been in your shoes, I would have felt confused and hurt. I think it is great that you were able to be so open and vulnerable in your email because that is not always easy to do. I hope you keep posting so we can encourage and support you!