Quote:
Originally Posted by Butterflies Are Free
My last day of school was on Friday and I had one half hour left in my day(I teach). A co-worker stopped in and began talking about a man she had met on Match.com. She encouraged me to try it(I am single and in my early 40s). Well, I dealt with the conversation as well as I could, but after she left, I started to go down that old road of "there must be something wrong with me because I am not in a relationship." I have made great progress in therapy(I have complex PTSD and deal with CSA issues) and my T said, "Her comment might have been well-intentioned but it says more about her than it does about you."
I cannot believe I let it bother me so much. I am not in therapy so I can "be in a relationship" but I am not sure how to just let myself be "okay" as a single person. I want to be in a healthy relationship someday but am not quite ready yet. Is my T correct? Any advice would be appreciated.
|
i agree with your T. you sound very mature saying: "I am not in therapy so I can "be in a relationship" but I am not sure how to just let myself be "okay" as a single person. I want to be in a healthy relationship someday but am not quite ready yet." being in therapy teaches us how to have healthy realtionships. kudos to you for wanting to learn this before you start having unhealthy relationships. i struggled from age 14ish to 24 with not wanting to be single. i hated it. people can be so rude and try to force people to date. it's none of their business really (unless you specifically ask for help in the area). now I'm 25 yr old and finally "okay" with singleness. i'm not sure how spiritual you are, but for me, my answer was learning to give it all to the Lord Jesus Christ and let Him send me the perfect husband in His perfect time. I have by no means give up on finding the right guy. I just came to a place of being content with singleness. I have joined 3 church singles groups in my town. I can mingle with others that have the same interest and it's really good to not feel pressured (most that attend are just friendly people that like to hang out with other singles...most are not there to force a realtionship...even though some have found mr/mrs right).