Well, this nailed it for me. I had YEARS of therapy...most recent with my cold and distant T in which I asked questions that were NEVER answered. I asked directly, subtly, indirectly, asked follow up questions....put questions in general terms and more specific.

for this therapist, and some others I'm afraid, the process is shrouded in mystery ...which serves the therapist.

Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz?

Well, that kind of T is like the tiny old man behind a curtain of obfuscation, theory, game-playing and mystery.

But like Dorothy in the story, I needed to get to the point where I could call bu##$%t on this therapist and all others like him.

Therapy is sometimes mysterious to the extent that some therapists keep it mysterious in order to keep it going and keep it lucrative.

Call me cynical. I did not say "all therapists" but there are some shysters out there...I know, I went to a few for much longer than I should have, because I bought the whole "mystery" thing. I was vulnerable. I've posted about this before.

Good therapy, in my view, should not be MADE more mysterious than necessary, especially when a client probes for answers about process, duration, and the like. Certainly, there is an "art" to the whole endeavor and this is a key ingredient, but when therapists are MAKING the process opaque by avoiding questions, shifting responsibilities, prolonging the process unnecessarily ....I'd advise clients to go shopping for another therapist, one who operates from a standpoint of transparency and empowerment. They're out there.

Life is itself a mystery, and that's fine. But when you're paying the big bucks for a service from a professional, the veil needs to come down, at least occasionally. And if it doesn't, perhaps the guy behind the curtain is kinda ....small.