(((Cotton ball)),

Oh I hear you and can definitely relate to that state of mind. The only right answer right now is to give yourself permission to slow down as much as you can and try very hard " not" to allow yourself to go to all the negetive could happens. I had to figure out how to do that myself and my T told me to try to allow myself to ride with the wave instead of pushing against it. It is not easy to do that at all, but when there is so much that you cannot possibly fight, you have to learn that you have to take on one thing at a time as best as you can.

Regular people are only going to be work for you, because regular people do not understand PTSD. So I think what you should start with Cotton, is trying to locate a new therapist that specializes in treating PTSD and will be there for you. You really need to develope a support system right now, but with people that will "know" how to support you.

I don't know if you have a diagnosis right now but if you do find a therapist and get a proper dianosis you may be able to seek SSDI for a while while you work on getting your life together. Yes, I know you want a "real" job but you have to get yourself in a better place psychologically right now, and in order to do that you have to establish a "safe" supportive environment for you and your son right now first.

PTSD can be worked through Cotton, but in order for you to gain on that you have to establish the right kind of environment for yourself first. I just wish I had some links for you to get started with that, but all I can think of is finding a good therapist that can recognize where you are and can help you work on getting yourself in that "safe" environment you deserve right now. This "being very tired" feeling you are having now is something you need to listen to, and what it means is that you have to slow down and get someone on your side that understands that you are struggling with PTSD and you need time out to work on that "first". There "are" good therapists out there Cotton. I don't know what area you live in or if you even live in the USA. But see what you can find online. Do some research and make up your mind that is where you are going to start first.

Come and vent or whatever you need here as well. At least you will be able to share with others that know the struggle with PTSD and can be here for you so you don't feel alone.

Open Eyes