The closer I get to orgasm, the tigher my vaginal muscles get. If I try to relax, its counterproductive to orgasm. your body should feel relaxed and comfortable, but with my experience, my vaginal muscles are generally tense with intense arousal. all that goes through my mind during sex is the good sensations and pleasing my partner

try using some warming lube. Have your partner to stimulate your clit before sex. You amd him can continue this stimulation suring sex or buy a "toy" that stimulates the clit during sex. **** toys also help with having vaginal orgasm. Use a butt plug and then let your partner work your vagina. the easiest position for me to orgasm is missionary style. Its better with guy on top but I can achieve orgasm with me on top too. Other positions dont really do much for me though.