Oh my Friend....How I wish I could say anything that might possibly spark a moment of relief for you. Isn't it horrible how depression can make it impossible at times....many times....to see any perspective. God knows I've been there so often myself. So, with that said, however simplistic these things may sound, I'll still say them. First of all this. I have never been involved in AA (I thank God that's ONE thing I haven't had to deal with), and obviously the Prayer of Serenity is so often ~mostly(?) associated with them, but it doesn't have to be, and personally....as simple as it is....I find it does sometimes bring me some comfort when things are feeling really bad. Actually I'm thinking of it quite a bit lately, as I try to deal with my "Best Friend" who recently deleted me from her life, refusing to talk to me, respond to my e-mails, etc. But as hard as it is to accept, I can NOT change whatever it is in her that allows her to be so cruel. We all have made decisions that we regret, and sadly some impact our lives more than others....but we just can't always predict these consequences and change what is already done. Ok, so the other thing I want to say, and this is one very close to my heart, simple as it may be. Why are we tougher on ourselves than we might be on others?? If a friend of yours made the same choice that you did (to make the leap and start a business), and it didn't go so well, perhaps you might just think that he was an intelligent person, so his reasons for making that choice, (no matter what the results), should be respected....and the truth is sometimes things just don't go as expected, or hoped for. But would you think less of your friend for having made that choice? I'm guessing probably not? And perhaps you'd just feel bad for them? (Have compassion.) And yet you sound like you are being rather rough on yourself....blaming yourself for not having the power to predict the future. Personally I feel you deserve more kindness than that. All that said, as someone who has suffered from depression most of my life, I DO get it. Well, anyway, don't know that any of this will help in any way....or even to make sense to do, but if nothing else just want to let you know I care, and pray some comfort comes your way asap.....