Thanks. Your support and care mean a lot to me.

I am feeling very alone right now in my pain. And closed off. The memories caused me to remember, feel emotional pain, feel unsafe and miserable, lost and alone and helpless; therefore, I retreated pronto to (old patterns of) isolating (to protect myself).

I didn't have anyone at all to talk to about it, so it all turned to mush - and it is now depression

( I KNOW logically my T. cancelled our appt for a very good reason. But emotionally, I'm feeling abandoned - again - and frustrated).

I am not as angry with my T, as much as I am with myself and my life and how it has turned out. I DID NOT have a choice. My voice didn't matter at all. I didn't have one. To anyone. Nobody heard me. (Or actually, they heard me, but they didn't care. at all).

It's crazy but the experience(s) are so intertwined that when I am triggered, not only am I upset about the matter itself, I am also really upset with my family for being such ****** ********! (I go into the "if (what), then" mode.

Thanks again for reading. I saw my original post. I really need to work on my Android skills! And check my spelling