Hi,

(Excuse me if I don't word this in the best manner - I know my best friend can be sensitive on these issues, so perhaps others are too?)

Since traveling away from her isolated, rural life in Montana for a new life in Seattle attending the University of Washington, she has identified herself as being 'genderqueer,' meaning neither male nor female, and what I support her in whatever she does, I am quite frankly perplexed about this

Well, I am not familiar with a lot of LGBTQ subjects, having been raised in areas that are overwhelmingly homophobic and essentially of the same race and religion with little to no diversity.

So my best says she's neither male nor female - ?????????????????? The way she's explained it is that she has never felt "female," but then I think that she is basing that off a very stereotypical idea of what a female is supposed to be, if that makes sense? She says she has never liked dresses, skirts, and makeups, but then I know a lot of women that don't - they're still women?

I consider myself to be male but I am likely more female than she is! I shave my legs, wear Secret deodorant, sleep with a teddy bear, love hugs, I have a purse, and probably cry more than most women, but I don't care. I don't care if something is considered male or female.

Honestly, I see sexuality and gender as kind of like skin colour, totally irrelevant in anything. I don't understand the thought process being gender identity. Don't see a need for all these labels? Instead of searching for a gender identify that best fits her, why not just do what she likes and forget about labels?

And how is someone neither male nor female?

So…confused!

Again I am by no means meaning to criticize her decisions or those of the LGBTQ community. Doesn't matter to me whether she is genderqueer, pansexual, transgendered, or extraterrestrial . It's important to her as my political affiliations are to me, so I want to understand this, and she is so far behind on emails from me (over 300 unread ) that she probably won't respond to the email wherein I asked these questions for a while, so here I am on PsychCentral!