hi. so im going to be a senior in high school, and last year i finally gained the courage to stand up against my dad who abused me for 15 years and i told my school counselor. now i never have to see him again. although, a couple of months ago, i was put in the hospital for suicidal thoughts. my therapist and my mom and family think im doing fine...

theyre wrong.

i have to stay strong for my mom. she and my step dad always fight, were losing our house, and it would just be another thing on top of everything if she knew i was still in a bad place.

about three months ago, a little before the hospital trip, i started cutting. it wasnt alot, i would just do little scratches. but about one month ago, it got worse. i started using a razor blade, and now i cant seem to stop. my best friend who i trust with everything knows, my youth pastor, and my moms friend who is like my aunt both know. my moms friend is telling me that i owe my mom to tell her what im doing. but i cant. i told my therapist a couple ofweeks ago about it and she said "oh thats not good you might need medicatiion" so now she thinks i dont do it anymore. i dont know what to do, and i have a feeling its going to get worse from here on out. i cant trust my therapist, and ill plan out what im going to tell her before i go and then once ii get in there i forget everything. i asked my mom if i could switch therapists and she said no. so idk what to do.