How have you guys dealt with guilt? I am trying to find a counselor that I can afford but I was wondering if anybody has tips for dealing it in the meantime.

I have been realizing that something my sister and I did as kids wasn't appropriate sexually even though we didn't actually touch each other in that way. I was 11 and my sister was 8. I told her let's pretend that one of us is a doctor and comes in says "I'm going to rape you". We would take turns with both roles. The person who was the doctor would lay on top of the other one and hold their hands back. It was bad enough that I was thinking like something like that as an 11 year old but an 8 year old was even worse. I took an issue that wasn't appropriate and passed it along to a younger child. My sister saw something that I wrote for a psychologist when I was first applying for disability and she says it never happened so at least she doesn't remember it but the fact remains that i know what happened and looking back that it was wrong.