Are the SSDI doctor appointments over? Can you now look into that group you were thinking about? I know it is no easy fix but it is a place away from your apartment that you will need to go to, x number of days a week. I'm finding the thing I like best about group is that the don't live near me, so my weekends are totally mine. This group actually forbids members from talking outside group. Many reasons, some pro, some con. Hang in there. This is the longest depression I've have too, feel on edge with it. 
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
Desiderata Max Ehrmann
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