narriel I think it is a very good thing that you are not distrusting of your husband, that he calls to tell you he loves you when he is away, and that fear or insecurity does not seem to be an issue with this. I think that would be a much more complicated problem to deal with. It is also admirable that you understand and appreciate the joy he gets from this and do not want to deprive him of it.

But your happiness counts for something too. Since it is making you so sad I don't think it would be wrong to tell him about it. It doesn't have to be complaining or whining, just an honest expression of your feelings. If that seems impossible maybe therapy can help you with that communication. This is not even to say that you should tell him and that therefore he should stop leaving. I would think that having him give it up completely would not be a good solution either for him or for you. However it is a problem, and it is a problem that you should address together, especially since you seem to be so considerate and caring of one another.

Therapy might help give you skills to help cope better when he is away. Mabye there are other things you could develop to occupy your time so you didn't feel so lonely when he is gone. Maybe arrange a better schedule of times to meet with him when he is on the road so that you don't have to go for such long stretches at a time. Maybe even times when he could come home for a day or two if he can work it into his schedule.

It doesn't sound to me like your marriage is in trouble at all. But there is a problem, and although it may seem to be your problem, it really is a problem for both of you that you should try to solve together. I hope a therapist can help and maybe even attend some sessions together if that will help you express the problem might be an option.

good luck.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
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