(((((((MUE)))))))

I love that. T used to ask me sometimes if I could tell him the easiest bit of something really hard, or tell him one little detail, and if I could just get the courage together to do that, sometimes doors would open and I could keep going...and if I couldn't keep going, at least I had the experience of getting out 20 seconds worth and surviving.

That sounds like a great "rule" to hang onto. Just 20 seconds.