These sound like your thoughts, Squiggle, not what your therapist will be thinking. My guess is your therapist understands that we're all human, we all forget things, and that our emotions are okay, whatever they are.

It makes sense to be upset about missing an appointment...therapy is a big deal, and it's SUPPOSED to be a big deal. We're doing important work that touches on our deepest fears, wishes, etc.

It sounds like you feel pressured to do "good work" in therapy since you have the summer off of work. I wonder if that pressure is making it even harder to miss an appointment? I know that when I would think "THIS is the time I need to do the biggest work" I tended to freak out and make things harder for myself...but if I could just let the work happen however it did, and trust that I'd be able to handle it, we were able to move forward. It's almost counterintuitive - relax and trust, and the hard work will happen.

I hope your appointment goes well tomorrow.