Hey farmergirl I think I sorta get where you're coming from so lemme see if this makes sense to you. While I wasn't opposed to the idea when it was suggested to me I was skeptical because I'm not very spiritual and I don't really like feel-good woo-woo crap as I call it. But I pride myself on always being open-minded AND I was in so much pain I was willing to try anything.

Being very science-minded, the book on mindfulness that worked for me is Buddha's Brain, about the actual neuroscience behind meditation and mindfulness.

From my understanding the basic science behind it is (very roughly) that when you're anxious or upset your amygdala, the part of your limbic system that controls fear and anxiety and tells your body to panic (fight or flight), is over-reacting. When your amygdala is excited your prefrontal cortex (PFC), the conscious thinking part of your brain is not engaged (ergo the thoughtless, irrational rage/anxiety etc.) so what mindfulness does is get you to actively engage the PFC in order to reduce the stimulation of the amygdala because your brain physically cannot do both at the same time.

The book goes into much more detail but I think that's a fairly good summary there (I've been reading about this stuff for weeks now).

Mindfulness is NOT thinking about yourself exactly. Mindfulness is sort of an intensified focus on ONE thing, whatever it is that you're doing. It's the opposite of distractedness and multi-tasking. As Thich Naht Hahn says if you are washing the tea cup, just wash the tea cup. Let that be the only thing you are doing and thinking about at that moment.

Practicing mindfulness right now might look something like this: you are sitting with your computer looking at the screen reading this paragraph. Feel the seat you are sitting on. Feel your fingers on the keyboard. Think about all the other things you can feel or see or smell right now.

Now feel your breathing. (Don't worry about changing your breathing or practicing deep breathing or anything like that, just notice your natural breathing).

Now notice your emotions at this moment. Right now I am feeling nervous and shaken because I had a bit of a bad experience last night. I feel tired because I didn't get a good night's sleep. I feel a bit hungover because I drank alcohol. I feel nervous because I'm worried about some things.

All mindfulness is, is deep awareness of what's going on right here, right now. It's being completely and fully present.

It's not trying to avoid thinking (that's meditation). It's being AWARE of the thinking. It's not trying to avoid feeling, it's being AWARE of the feeling.

As you begin to practice mindfulness you start living more and more in the present. Not in past pain (trauma/depression). Not in the future (anxiety/worry). Just in the now. Right here. Right now. That's all that exists.

Give it a try. Why not? Work with your therapist. If that's not the right book for you, find another one. Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance is a good one. Anything by Thich Naht Hahn is also good. It could be spiritual or scientific. The particular explanation or approach to mindfulness doesn't matter, as long as you do it.

I say humor your therapist on this and try it for a few weeks. Doesn't have to be for long. Do it in the shower. Every time you take a shower try doing it mindfully. Let yourself become fully conscious of all the sensations of showering, inward and outward, how the hot water feels hitting your skin, how you are feeling inside at that particular moment. Notice how you are breathing. Notice if you're feeling anxious or sad; optimistic or nervous. Notice all the muscles in your body. Notice your breath.

Honestly, I've been through so much pain in the past six months and I thought nothing would help. Not drugs, not therapy, nothing. Drugs can numb you. Talk therapy can help a little. But nothing has turned things around for me like meditation and mindfulness. NOTHING.

Try it. You've got nothing to lose.