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Old Jun 19, 2012, 07:46 AM
bamapsych bamapsych is offline
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Member Since: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 356
Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl View Post
I think so many people go through this kind of anxiety about being in a relationship or not. My oldest sister went through this following her divorce. What she ended up doing for herself was building her own life and her own identity as the individual she is. She went back to school and finished up her degree. She joined a chorus and was able to meet people who shared her interests. She developed some good friendships with other people who were living independent lives. She returned to church as an organist and met more friends that way. She's a pretty satified and content independent woman now. She realizes she can be an adult without having to have a man. She can live for herself rather than for a spouse and really be okay with that. It didn't happen overnight; it probably took close to 10 years to put herself through that transformation. But she honestly the happiest she has ever been now. I consider her a very brave woman.

There is this cultural expectation that we must have a spouse, that we cannot be fulfilled individuals if we aren't attached to someone else. Maybe what you need to do is develop who you are as an individual, and punch people in the nose when they suggest you need a man.
I just started back to school to get a Psychology degree lol and then hopefully a degree in Counseling. In December, I went on a 9 day mission trip (alone, but met another missionary once I arrived in Costa Rica). I'm currently in the process of moving to a differnt city. I have always had a longing for a child so I volunteer at Big Brothers Big Sisters as a mentor. That is a healthy way for me to have a relationship with a child, but without all the responsibilities that come with it. If I were married or even in a committed relationship, I couldn't do all of this stuff that I enjoy. Either my activities or my relationship would suffer.