It does sound difficult and awkward for you, I commend you for going and doing the goodbye and asking for help with what sort of therapist to look for next, rather than just "quitting".

It sounds like you are not coming from a base within yourself though, are trying to have a foot in both camps; you claim there was not much warmth and yet you don't remember if she hugged you? Awkwardness is going to be there if you are trying to control distances and what you feel; you cannot control what you feel and trying to so you want the warmth but don't want to remember the hug, that push pull is where the awkwardness resides.

I don't know why you left this therapist after four years or what kind of therapist she recommended, that you disagreed with - you asked for her help and then rejected it; why should someone give their opinion, give of themselves/their point of view if you "argue" with it?

I remember a comedian who was talking about a test he took in 4th grade where the teacher phrased the question as "what, in your opinion, caused such-and-such" and then he got an "F". You cannot "fail" when your opinion is asked!

If you ask someone a question; their answer is their answer and one should thank the other and consider their answer and how it applies to you and how it informs you and what action you may or may not want to take on it. Presumably one asks a question because one does not know the answer so rejecting an answer someone else gives is probably because we don't "like" the answer and that, in and of itself, is interesting to me/tells me a lot about me.