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f.reliant · Jun 19, 2012, 02:02 PM

Dear Silent Empath. I am so sorry for your pain. I guess after reading several pages of replies you can see that you are not alone in your feelings.

I offer you this...my own perspective. I have reached the conclusion that people don't really ever want to die. They just don't want to be in pain anymore. The pain seems like its too much to endue.

My wonderful, amazing brother took his life 10 days before his 21st birthday. I was seventeen at the time. It took me 10 years to move past his death.

Severe depression runs in my family. Another brother attempted to take his life in his early 20's. I tried taking mine six years ago. I flat lined in the ER. Remember being resuscitated. It was very traumatic. Became unconscious and was in a coma for four days.

The irony is, as bad as I felt, as bad as life was, life got worse...much worse. I won't go into the details. Life still is not what I want/need it to be. But by God, I have learned an incredible life lesson. I am strong! Much stronger than I ever thought. I accept the fact that despite being depressed I am able to put one miserable foot in front of the other and go on. And the more I am able to move forward the stronger I get and the easier it is. I am able to do this because one can not...must not accept the alternative.

I am not doing so well right now, but I am trying with all my heart and might because I know that even if life doesn't get any better, my feelings about life will. Oh to be able to appreciate and drink in the beauty of a starry night and feel a gentle breeze.

I pray you find your strength. You are stronger than you know!

I hope this day finds you a little less lonely and a little more stronger.

P.S. I saw a bumper sticker once. It read "I died once. I did not like like it." At first, I was taken aback by the bumper sticker, then I heard myself laughing. It was funny because it was true. I died once. I did not like it! How fortunate am I that I am still around.