Ahh, the problems with depression and anxiety. When I was a practicing psychologist I often told people that if depression and anxiety are not siblings, then they are certainly first cousins...when you find one, you generally find the other in its wake...

There is a lot of help for people who are caring for a loved with with Alzheimer's Disease. If you haven't visited it yet, go to the main site for the Alzheimer's Association www.alz.org . Another good site is www.caregiver.org and that is for the Family Caregiver Alliance.

As for why bother fixing anything, well, your dad with AD is probably more appreciative of your help than he can tell you (assuming that his illness is advanced, and I'm sorry if that is too grand an assumption).

Oh, as for your last two questions: yup! I feel like that a lot. It is what I call depression logic coming into play. Life is quite a chore, even more so when you are depressed, and even more so when you are caring for someone that is chronically ill. Your question about reconciling the feelings: I try to reconcile them by taking small victories. Today, for instance, I made it through the day without spontaneously weeping (I have had some trouble with that over the past couple of days); I also have been able to stay awake all day - no small achievement as this depression is very tiring...

The other thing that I have been doing to reconcile these feelings is to visit this forum, even a couple of times a day.

And finally, I focus on one thing that I'm grateful for, even if it is something as simple as being able to read what others write on these forums...

Best wishes.