Quote:
Originally Posted by regretful
Good morning whimsygirl,
The other day (yesterday) you wrote in a post how we are more difficult on ourselves than we are on anyone else...you know, our own worst critcs...I suspect that your Best Friend in the world might have a big part to play in their absence from your life now. Believe me, I know what you mean by the abandonment matter; it brings up that feeling of betrayal for me...I have constant reminders of my "best friend"...he's the one that suggested I get into this business that I'm in (and it is the cause of, and if not, then the catalyst for my depression)...
Here's what I've done in the past couple of days: I do all that I can to stop thinking about my friend in a negative manner. I am on a path of forgiveness. I find that if I get away from the negative feelings about this friend - you know, stop focusing on the abandonment and betrayal and turn it to forgiveness, that I wake up feeling a bit better.
I hope that this helps and am hopeful that you get some quality sleep.
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Thanks for your kindness. I'm truly happy for you if you are anywhere near forgiveness....I do realize that in the end that may happen in my situation, but to be honest I'm not anywhere near that yet. I can't remember if you wrote in any of your posts when the whole situation with your friend happened, but for me it was all very recent. It is actually only within the past week or so that the reality that she has deleted me from her life has become clear to me. Because she lives in NY, and I'm in California, a lot of our communication was online or on the phone, so I think it just took a little longer to "get it". So anyway, although forgiveness is not an impossibility some day, right now I'm just in a state of grief, my emotions swirling....moving from despair, to anger, to frustration, and so on, and on, and on. And of course because I suffer from this demon of depression, I can't help but turn a lot of things inward. I am thankful, though, to have found a counselor who I will be starting with in a couple of days.
