Oh, am so sorry to read of your problems.

Actually, they arent yours, they are his. This man, no matter how lovely he can be at times, has to an extent betrayed your trust and turned intimacy into something horrid. Sex should be fun, enjoyable, a token of your love, and at times downright silly! It shouldnt be about playing with other people's feelings and it sounds like its really thrown you.

I cannot ever tell you what to do, only you can make those choices, but it does sound like this man isnt really what you need - he's making you doubt yourself, your relationship and he's become a trigger in self harming. A loving relationship would'nt do these things to you. You sound lovely and I hope you can put yourself first and take good care of yourself.

x