A dear friend of mine stayed with her abusive husband for years. He was forever putting her down, being critical. Going out all night, answering her question of where he had been with more scorn. Then he would apologise, promise to never do it again. Until next time.
After a few years, I started to get calls from her in the middle of the night, where he'd started thumping her. I am not saying your fella would do this, so dont get me wrong. And the pattern of apologies and more mental and physical abuse would carry on. On one of the few police visits, a policewoman said something that changed her life. It was "people get addicted to the drama". It made her see that she needed some time out, and she needed to take stock of the situation. So she asked him to leave, which was so hard, esp as he was the father of her children.

But, over the months she got to realise that the policewoman was right - it wasnt the drama, but it was what the policewoman meant - that she just couldnt think straight when the behavioral patterns were going on, she was just so wrapped up in it all. She never looked back... She's now in a relationship with a lovely lovely man, been going strong for 7 years and they are still like lovesick teenagers. Its wonderful as a friend to see her so happy.

I guess what I am trying to say in a clumsy way, is that perhaps if you took time out from this relationship of yours, you may or may not find that loving your boyfriend is enough to carry on. I think that you may just find your answer.

xx